Fast forward many many years later, living alone and single in a foreign land - thousands and thousands of miles away from friends, family and a place that I once called home. I remember, one fateful day, being all sad, feeling all alone and helpless that I started praying in silence, begging the merciful Lord up above to grant me the wisdom, understanding and strength to get me through what I was going through...and just as if heaven heard me and wanted to send down an answer right away, on the radio that day, that very moment, I heard the same familiar song my dad would constantly hum on the car whenever we were stuck in traffic:
"I spent half my life
looking for the reasons things must change.
And half my life trying to make them stay the same
But love would fade like summer into fall;
All that I could see was a mystery,
It made no sense at all.
The will of the wind, you feel it and then
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and God only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.
I spent so many hours
Thinking about the way things might have been.
And so many hours, trying to bring the good times back again.
And so it goes for lonely hearted fools;
They let their days slip away
Until they give into...
The will of the wind, you feel it and then
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and God only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind."
- (WILL OF THE WIND)
For one moment, I was back in Manila...that little girl stuck in traffic with dad. It was a reminder - from up above- how strong, positive and optimistic I have always been with everything in my life. Hearing the song this time though felt a little bit different...now I finally understood why he would often turn it up whenever he heard it playing on the car radio...
For one moment, I was back in Manila...that little girl stuck in traffic with dad. It was a reminder - from up above- how strong, positive and optimistic I have always been with everything in my life. Hearing the song this time though felt a little bit different...now I finally understood why he would often turn it up whenever he heard it playing on the car radio...
People often wonder why I am so strong. I go through life testers every so often- alone - on my own- yet I can still walk around with a smile on my face - with my head up - with my bitch face on. With that same twisted sense of humor that i've always had and with positivity and faith that tomorrow will always a brand new day - another chance to make things better and fix whatever needs to be ironed out.
Some people call it problems... I call it life testers. And just like how my dad would constantly hum and sing along with that one song, when life's adversities come along, I learned to just go along with it. Sometimes it hurts so bad I tend to bend down soooo low...but I never break and I never will break and surrender to life's challenges. I've realized there are things in life that we can't control happening to us and we just have to go with the flow and hang in there no matter what. And when it's all over, we realize life's testers don't come into our lives to break us...it only makes us stronger and hopefully better human beings in the end.
xo,
C
